Dena, our Kidney Blogger, will be back next Tuesday with another chapter in the journey we all share living with kidney health issues. Meanwhile, here's a holiday weekend post from Kathe:
Today, as we celebrate the Independence Day weekend, I wanted to take a moment
to think about perspectives – and what we can find to make our lives better. Its what this blog is all about.
We all
know that this diagnosis does not make for an easy journey. Good days and bad ones, health ups and downs,
things you don’t expect, upsetting news, loss, pity parties, and
disappointments. We all share them. But in order to reclaim our life from the
impact of this disease, each of us has to figure out the secret that only we
know – what is that thing that will make a difference? How do we still live a full, happy and
productive life, in spite of this?
Like
Curly said in the movie “City Slickers,” it’s often just one thing, and it’s not
the same for everyone. Usually it
centers somewhere around family and friends, work we love, things that make us
laugh and bring us joy, or a sense of determination or optimism or dogged perseverance
that gives us hope and motivation to start again each day. I look for inspiration in a lot of places,
largely from others who are dealing with something like this. They understand and “get it” in a way no one
else does. So when they share what works
for them - I listen. Some of them I know
personally and am lucky to have in my life, others I know only by their
words.
Michael
J. Fox is one such person: although he doesn’t have kidney disease, he sure
does know what chronic illness means. Diagnosed with Parkinson's disease in 1991, disclosing it to the public in 1999, he semi-retired from acting in 2000 as the symptoms became more severe. But then he began a second career as an activist, advocating for work towards finding a cure and he created the Michael J. Fox Foundation, for which he has raised almost $300 million for research. He continues acting and doing voice-overs, and has also released three books: Lucky Man: A Memoir (2002), Always Looking Up: The Adventures of an Incurable Optimist (2009) and A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Future: Twists and Turns and Lessons Learned (2010).
He shares his perspectives in powerful words that I find
helpful from time to time when I need them, plus a piece of advice in the video
attached here: see if any of this helps you find your “one thing.”
“I realized that the only choice not available to me was whether
or not I had this illness. Everything else was up to me. After all that I'd been through,
after all that I'd learned and all that I'd been given, I was going to do what
I had been doing every day for the last few years now: just show up and do the
best that I could do with whatever lay in front of me.”
And a final thought
you might not have considered; sometimes, there are even good things that come along with a medical
U-turn like this one. The people you get to know, values you develop, knowledge you gain, opportunities
(yes – opportunities) that present themselves - all things that you might never have
otherwise known, brought into your life BECAUSE of this. Really think about this; its surprising when you do.
Fox’s perspective about this though is pretty
amazing: “If you were to rush into this room right now and announce that you
had struck a deal - with God, Allah, Buddha, Christ, Krishna, Bill Gates,
whomever - in which the ten years since my diagnosis could be magically taken
away, traded in for ten more years as the person I was before - I would,
without a moment's hesitation, tell you to take a hike.”
Could you say that? Hmmm … I don’t know either. But I do know that I get strength from the
words and wisdom of people like him – like you. So think about what helps you - what makes
that difference in your life. And share
it with us – as we all try to find our way and be happy for the good things. Its all about moving forward.
Take care and stay well …
As my wife always says: "It is what it is. No more and no less."
ReplyDeleteWhat a wise woman ...
ReplyDeleteThank you Kathe for filling in for me while I enjoyed a quick but relaxing holiday getaway. Your post was both thought provoking and inspiring. Michael J. Fox is one of my all time heroes. The way he has shown courage in the face of such a debilitating disease is simply amazing. It reminds me of why I remain so positive in spite of 15 years of up's and down's, hospitalizations and surgeries, good and bad days. I guess you would say this is my "One thing."
ReplyDeleteJust a few short years before I was diagnosed with the CKD my mother died from Lung cancer. It was the most devastating time of my life. In just 5 months the cancer ripped through her lungs into her liver and took her life. I was an emotional and physical wreck. She was only 45 years young and in the prime of her life. My mother was my rock and my best friend. She hadn't had an easy life and this was a horrible way for it to end. My mother faced cancer with dignity and grace. And in those 5 awful months, she never once complained or never gave herself a pity party. She was my hero and to this day, I hope I can be as half as brave as she was. Now I look back and realize how much strength I gained from losing my mom. How in an odd way it prepared me for the journey ahead. She Is the reason why CKD has not beaten me and never will. "When others say WHY ME? I just say TRY ME?"
My pleasure - and I'm glad you enjoyed your holiday weekend getaway.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry though to hear about such sadness in your life, but you are right; our past experiences can give us a perspective and ability to deal with things that can withstand incredibly tough times when they come along. Its the great last gift your mother gave you ...
This was an excellent post..and great perspective!
ReplyDelete